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Code Ninja

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progress [24 Jun 2008|08:42am]
[ mood | better ]

Well, my paperwork was rejected by the court 3 times, but my fourth revision was accepted. I finally have a court date, July 11th.

Going to see "Spamalot" with Scott tonight in Forth Worth, and then pack tonight for Austin. Work tomorrow, and then hope to leave straight from work to the bus station.

I need to write about last weekend and going to see Kelso and Heather's wedding. It was super-fun, and I got drunk enough for people to tell that I was drunk {embarrassing...}. Julie says I still get to blame my divorce for wanton drunkeness and so I will take her words of comfort. I was happy to see everyone. It was nice to feel like I belonged. It was also nice to stay in that fancy nice hotel room (thanks, Scott's company!) and to go to the Museum of Fine Arts Houston (MFAH!!!) on Sunday.

All in all, everything worked out great for me and I was very glad to have Scott there.

This weekend (2 days ago) I mostly sat around my house, crying/sad because my hands hurt so much. On Sunday my left hand felt better enough for me to work on my new painting. John came over and played WoW while I painted and it was nice to have some [quiet] company.

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bus schedule [23 Jun 2008|08:13pm]
ok,

So this is what I'm going to try to do:

Wednesday, June 25th: Depart Downtown Dallas 8:05 pm, arrive Austin station 11:10 pm

My friend John can take me and my friend Julie can pick me up, so that's a go there...

Sunday, June 29th: Depart Austin 7:10 pm, arrive downtown Dallas at 10:35 pm.
I *think* John can pick me up in Dallas, haven't confirmed that yet but I think he can; but I don't have anyone to take me to the Austin station yet. I haven't purchased the tickets yet because they're nonrefundable, but I'm thinking I will find someone in Austin for Sunday, hopefully tonight. There's also a chance I might be leaving Austin a lot sooner than that, but we haven't got times yet for returning from Corpus.

Very busy lately.

*edit* Knasty is taking me to the station. Thanks, Knasty!!
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[19 Jun 2008|05:33am]
[ mood | despair ]

I can't sleep because my hands hurt and are extremely swollen.

I made an appointment with a hand specialist yesterday but won't see him until the 17th of July.

I spent a long time looking at tendonitis online yesterday also... apparently there is surgery but it sounds really scary. Another solution: not using your hands for 6+ weeks. Short term medical leave?

I have to drive to Austin next weekend and I'm absolutely dreading it.

Hell, I have to go to work and type today.

It's been 3 years but I'm starting to feel my first real fear about this.

I guess I'll take my anti-inflammatories, prepare two ice bags, and go to work.

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[13 Jun 2008|01:31pm]
Ok now I am coming to Houston.
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[13 Jun 2008|01:06pm]
An engineer's guide to cats

Funniest You Tube link I've seen all year
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[11 Jun 2008|01:21am]
Tonight I cried so loud that the cats came to me. I guess the sound I was making was similar to the high-pitched voice I use to call them inside. Ender came and laid on me. Sagan came and gave me a cat-bath for a long time, even stopping to knash his little teeth on my pretend fur.
I was glad they came.

Eddie Izzard, Live at the Majestic theater [05 Jun 2008|11:43pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

So, at the last minute, Scott scored two tickets to the sold-out Eddie Izzard show tonight, and I got to go. I was very, very happy to go. I think my favorite joke was from his opening

{talks about how presidential candidates get grilled with tedious questions}

So- what's your position on cheese?

Cheese? Well I like cheese. You know, I think cheese could take over the world someday!

{long pause}

If there was a lot of it

{quietly}

and you gave it guns

---------------------------
He called us "the most progressive people in Dallas". Oh man it was so great. I was depressed all week but I'm totally good now. It was really cool to see him coming up with new material right in the middle of the show and working on things, making them better. I bought a T-shirt. I'm so lucky and spoiled. We did sit on the very last row on the very end but I was still enthralled.

Oh, and he just bought a mac and he loves it, yay.

So anyways, Scott scored a bazillion gratitude points. I want to go watch all my Izzard DVDs again. I really really hope they turn the "Stripped" tour into a DVD.

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[03 Jun 2008|10:17pm]
I feel sad tonight.
I also feel like I can't post anymore, mostly due to my divorce.
What am I thinking? What am I doing? How am I feeling? No one really cares anyways.

Trying to build up my little world but it keeps shrinking.
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[25 May 2008|11:58am]
[ mood | anxious ]

I haven't posted in a long time because my hands hurt. It took me a while, but I finally got my voice recognition software working again on the Windows XP side of my iMac. I actually composed an entry for last week, but the software crashed and locked up the OS, and I lost the whole thing.

I wrote about Michael visiting, and going to see his nieces wedding in Denton. His friends Vicky and Jason came and stayed at my house, and all of us went to see a musician called "Uberzone" in the Lizard Lounge downtown. The next weekend, I don't even remember what I did anymore. This weekend everyone is out of town and I'm trying to work on my bathroom again. My hands are swollen, but they hurt no matter what I do, so I might as well try to get this done.

Sagan had an infected cut and subsquent abcess on his tail, and on the second trip to the vet they told me it was broken. The cats play but they play really rough, and I really hope that as Sagan gets older, they will calm down a bit. I absolutely cannot afford another infected cut from Ender biting him. Ender is much more accepting of Sagan, but treats him like his personal chew toy. Ender used to get wound up and bite me and attack me, but now he takes all his aggression out on Sagan. I'm not sure if this is actually a better situation, but I love Sagan very much now and I'm really glad I got him. We're pretty sure that Sagan is going to get bigger than Ender when he's fully grown, and he's already standing up for himself so I'm not that worried.

I'm actually really broke right now. Sagan's vet bills have been astronomical, I just got the bill for the roofing repairs, and the expected cost of the new windows pushed me over into a financial place that scares me a little bit. I know in a few months my savings will be replaced and I'll have spending spending money again, but the numbers in my accounts make me nervous. Fortunately I don't think I'll be having any more huge expenses this summer, unless they're unexpected.

Friday I went with Cory and his family to his sister Hailey's high school graduation ceremony. I only went because his parents e-mailed and called me asking me to come. Hayley gave a spectacular salutatorian speech and I'm glad I was there to hear it.

My house is a mess. I've been really really busy the last couple weeks. This weekend the only thing I have to do is get the divorce paperwork typed up. My voice recognition software has crashed twice since I started writing this entry. There's something about this Windows XP install that it doesn't like.

I want to make new friends, but I'm scared to, and I'm not very good at managing my social time. I didn't go to the Dallas artist networking group meeting last week, and now wish that I had.

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good weekend [08 May 2008|08:32pm]
[ mood | hurting ]

Had a good time this weekend, Michael came down and we went to a concert, his favorite band (Meat Beat Manifesto). Ran around a did a lot of errands. Bought fig trees, ate out a lot. Went to the Kimbell art museum in downtown Forth Worth, and the museum of modern art right across the street. Definitely better than the Dallas Art Museum. I bought a small James Ensor print for Cory. Got to talk a lot, Michael is a listening type of friend.

I also took Scott to the airport on Sunday, got to see him too and eat some sweet IHOP. He lost his wallet but then found it, so it was a dramatic few hours. His new apartment is the swank, of course. It's pretty far away from my house, though. He drove back to Dallas with a U-Haul this week and is here to stay, I think.

Cory had his surgery yesterday, they cut open his nasal passages because they barely let any air into his nose. He's breathed through his mouth for most of his life. I visited him and Pud yesterday to make sure he was ok and to say hi. I miss him. He's all drugged up and his nose is continuously bleeding.

I wanted to go to Austin this weekend for Julie's birthday, but my hands are still pretty inflamed. I think I'm going to install my voice-recognition software on the windows side of my intel iMac so I can use it to post LJ entries and use it for IM. Julie just called and we had a good talk.

Cory's dad now works at my Raytheon plant in Garland. It's kind of weird. I went and visited him in the colony today. We had a sad talk.

Last night Sagan got outside without Ender and me around. When they're both outside Sagan follows Ender around and doesn't usually leave his side, so I feel comfortable letting them out during the daytime together, or at nighttime with me watching. But for him to be out alone, I was terrified he would get lost, or taken by strangers, or eaten by the 25-pound mutant raccoons that live in our neighborhood. Anyways, I freaked out and got my flashlight and looked for Sagan. I realized that even though he's just a 9-month old kitten he's come to mean a lot to me already. I was super-relieved when I found him. He's really a very good kitty, even if he's all hyperactive. Ender's getting along with him better and better everyday.

OMG I saw a firefly in my courtyard tonight! It was teh awesome. I've only glimpsed fireflies a couple of times in my life and I think they are just the coolest.

This weekend I need to dig a deep hole and plant a tree. Michael will be in town on Saturday again for his niece's wedding and he invited me to go. I'm going to try not to be too bitter and divorced. Sunday I told Scott we might hang out, but I'd really like to paint. Actually my hands might hurt too much to paint... oh well.

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[03 May 2008|06:06pm]
[ mood | cross-roads ]

I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds and you
Loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Of my shame
You know I believed it

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

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[03 May 2008|12:16pm]
More bulleted items

- They came to fix the roof yesterday, have my fingers crossed. Sort of hoping it will rain again soon so I can know if it worked.

- Finally got Cory and I's cell phones on different plans. Hoping next bill will be just for my phone.

- Talked to Stucco guy this morning, my house needs stucco repair. The HOA probably won't pay to have it done but if I do it myself I risk being fined. Sigh.

- Cleaned the whole house. Looks good! Am proud and able to relax now.

- Michael coming really late tonight or tomorrow morning. Still don't have any activities planned, hope he doesn't notice.

- Taking Scott to airport tomorrow (?). Scott, send me your info you doofus

- Monday am going downtown to protest my taxes. The process sounds a lot simpler than I was expecting. Yay.

- Home Depot came to measure the windows, nothing unexpected was found. The project manager said I should see a major improvement in the upstairs heat during the summer.

- Today I pulled all the weeds in the side yard. It was kind of therapeutic. Right now am watching the rest of "My Fair Lady" which I'd never seen before, and then am going to finally grab my paint brush and paint the downstairs bathroom.

- Also this week is a significant week. If I hadn't miscarried in September, this week is when my baby would have been born. I have thought how different my life would be if that hadn't happened. Better? Worse? I can't say for sure. I know that eventually things would have gotten worse, if not for Cory or the Baby, but for me. I know that a lot has happened in the last nine months, that's for sure. I still want a baby very badly. Keeping busy with other things takes my mind off it.

- Bought some female guppies, but half the new guppies I bought have died. There are a bunch of babies, though, so maybe they'll live?
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Tips for Cats: Tip #16 [03 May 2008|12:09pm]
#16: How to Gently Wake Your Human in the Morning (so they can feed you)

1) Locate your mistresses head, usually located at the end of the bed closest to the wall
2) Find her face. Note the orientation
3) Position yourself so that your face is about 2-3 inches away from her face. Lay down.
4) Gaze intently into your mistresses closed eyes, waiting for them to open
5) Breathe deeply

Bonus: Sneeze
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[30 Apr 2008|08:18pm]
There are 3 things on the front porch right now.
1) Dead bird
2) The bones and tail of a second bird
3) Little pile of vomit, composed of cat food and bird parts

I guess I'm just surprised he managed to catch 2 of them.
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books [28 Apr 2008|10:37pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

I finished "Fall of Hyperion" and it was good. Am seriously considering picking up the next book, "Endymion". I started reading "The Memory Keeper's Daughter" that Julie loaned me, but a couple of chapters in I realized that I'm really not up to reading a book about having kids and how they will change your life. Not right now, anyways.

Not really into happy movies or books where people fall in love, either. I went through my shelves and rejected everything except "Dying of the Light" which I'll start tonight I guess.

I need a book about a woman who gets divorced and is all busy but then goes on fabulous adventures and when she gets back her house is repaired and all the divorce paperwork is done and she has enough money to go out to dinner sometimes.
And they invent a new medicine that heals her hands.
And they also invent a new diet ice cream with zero calories.

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picture time again [27 Apr 2008|01:42pm]
cause pictures don't hurt



Hammock as seen through kitchen



Me in my awesome hammock



Ender and Sagan watching me in my hammock



Stupid leak in the stupid ceiling



My hole



Can you see Edgar in this picture???? (actually you can if you click on it)
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[27 Apr 2008|11:49am]
[ mood | hand-hurty ]

I want to write a big long post with lots of stuff in it. But, my hands really hurt right now. So instead you get a bulleted list with compact information.

-Got new cat, is 9 months old. Short haired grey tabby male, still thinks he is a kitten. Named him Sagan. Ender is making good progress towards accepting Sagan into the home. They played with each other this morning (chasing game) but Ender still won't let Sagan nuzzle on him. Took Sagan to vet, paid lots and lots of money.

-Bought a hammock from hammocks.com. Been wanting a hammock since I was 8. Paid cheapo money, good value! Love new hammock. Want to stay in it all the time. Is blue.

-Finally cleaned up 30 gallon aquarium and got filter and stand for it. Only one guppy left alive to go in it, Edgar the guppy. Edgar was going to die but now seems happy and healthy in new big aquarium. No more fish at work, just Edgar at home now. If Edgar lives another week, will reward him with some females to impregnate.

-Michael and I managed to avoid our old routine and are keeping in touch, he's coming to visit next weekend, yay! Might go on trip later this summer.

-I fired the roofer. He sucks. New roofer is coming tomorrow to look at it. New roofer is scared and doesn't want to take the job based on what I told him. Yesterday I took my jigsaw and cut a hole in the ceiling in the room that has the leak. Good: leak has not destroyed any of the wood in the ceiling, and only a small amount of mold has grown. Bad: Leak coming from place that is impossible to trace and doesn't give any clues to help roofer. (maybe it will? High hopes for tomorrow). Rained a lot last night, excellent timing for me to gather information on the leak.

-House is least energy-efficient house in the world. Am paying Home Depot to come put in new windows- old windows are in really bad shape and all single-paned. Will use up all my savings. Will be living like a broke bum for many months. Excited about new windows, and having a house that isn't the exact same temperature as outside. Am thanking any supernatural forces that might exist for our mild, cool spring.

-Went to see Hayley (Cory's little sister) in her lead role in her last play last night. Have watched a lot of Hayleys plays, she has really developed and is extremely talented. Was a little surreal to see her as lead role, with most of the songs and dialogue. Had dinner with Cory, was nice.

-Hands: hurt very bad. Sucks. Have been hurting ever since my drive to Austin, and am nervous about my next trip to Austin for Julie's birthday. If hands are better by then, will that trip destroy them again?

-Today: must insulate AC pipes with foam from Home Depot. Must also do laundry, vacuum, dust, mop kitchen, and clean up huge mess created by making hole in ceiling. Might make hole bigger and put in a proper bracing around it with a 2x4 i picked up, and then go buy wood trim and a panel to make it a proper attic access. That's last though. Might just leave it as hole until tomorrow depending.

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*whimper* [21 Apr 2008|06:16pm]
[ mood | pain ]

I'm sick. I thought I was over it but it came back. I called in sick to work today.

I bought aquarium stuff for the 30-gallon aquarium to provide a home for all my guppies, but today I called my coworker to ask him to feed them, and turns out they're almost all dead :(

I'm reading relationship books and thinking hard about Cory and I's relationship, and figuring out a lot of stuff. I think Cory might have already figured some of it out before I did. Anyway, it's helped me to deal with a lot of the pain and guilt I'm currently experiencing. I want to talk to him about some of it, but I'm currently being Shunned. Waiting for my next Un-shun.

I'm going to try taking a long, tepid bath, sometimes it helps with the grodiness and headache of sleeping all day.

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[20 Apr 2008|12:15am]
[ mood | ok ]

I think I'm the only person within a hundred miles that owns Elton John's album Madman Across the Water and listens to it on a regular basis. And knows all the words of every song. This one got in my head last weekend while I was driving to and from Austin and is still rattling around in there. Last song on the album. A really short song, but....
-------------------
Goodbye
---------------------
And now that it's all over
The birds can nest again
I'll only snow when the sun comes out
I'll shine only when it starts to rain

And if you want a drink
Just squeeze my hand
And wine will flow into the land
And feed my lambs

For I am a mirror
I can reflect the moon
I will write songs for you
I'll be your silver spoon

I'm sorry I took your time
I am the poem that doesn't rhyme
Just turn back a page
I'll waste away, I'll waste away
I'll waste away, I'll waste away
I'll waste away, I'll waste away


--------------
Like most of the weird old albums that I own and know by heart, I picked this one up from my mom. I wonder what some parts of this song mean.

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Guppy Planned Parenthood [15 Apr 2008|07:55pm]
[ mood | down ]

So, I bought some guppies and put them in my little tank at work. I didn't realize it, but the female was pregnant. One Monday I came in and there were 12 babies swimming around. I put the adults in a vase and ran to PetCo and got another tank. So now I have two tanks, one with 12 babies and one with the adults. The mom died this morning, which was sad. I gave her some last rites before flicking her tiny body into the trash can in the breakroom. That would be funny if there was a guppy heaven. It would be ironic if any pets go to heaven in fact, because that means that all my pets will go to heaven, and meanwhile I'll go to hell.

I didn't mean to start a guppy-breeding operation at work, and I'm trying to clean out an old 30 gallon tank my coworker friend Christine gave me. It needs a stand and a pump, but I think it will hold the babies. Maybe I can get that done tonight if I don't collapse in bed after my workout. Anyways the plan is to bring all the babies home and let them live in the 30 gallon tank.

People come by and look at the guppies a lot. The babies aren't growing very fast, I think they are 3 weeks old now and still very tiny. They're supposed to be full grown after one month, but they're nowhere near full grown so I'm not sure what's happening with them.

I hung up a little inflatable space shuttle I got in Austin from the ceiling. Everyone loves the shuttle and asks which shuttle it is. Now I need a little inflatable international space station to go with it. That would be cool.

I've been kind of down since I got back from Austin. It feels like my soul got cleaned out while I was there, and all the good and bad stuff was removed. And now there's nothing left but me and the work and chores and loose ends I'm supposed to be taking care of. It was really hard to get through the day today and yesterday. I wonder why? I don't know.

I keep thinking, if I can just get all this stuff done, then I can lay down and relax and I'll feel better. Cory's coming over in a while to get some things, and bring me the stuff his little sister borrowed from me.
I have a busy weekend planned out. Friday my team is having lunch, I want to go look for a female kitten for Ender, and go to that DANG meeting (Dallas Artist Networking Group) on Saturday and meet some new people. And lay in the sun by the pool and try to practice my tennis swing by myself where no one can see me and maybe even learn to hit the ball (?). And of course I have 20 projects around the house that were put on indefinite hold when Cory moved out. I REALLY need to finish painting the bathrooms.

Michael and I have done our usual thing where we write a few emails after we see each other, and then I stop responding because I'm writing 2 or 3 paragraphs and he's writing one sentence. If we keep following our usual pattern we won't talk for 3 months, or until the next time I call him. It seems like we all have patterns with friends like that. We talked about taking a trip, but it doesn't sound like he can commit the time anytime soon.

I'd like to take a trip somewhere fun and farther away than Austin. Maybe girl vacation with Julie will be soon enough. I wonder if my hands will be ok by then.

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